Now we can match the individual's words. Why is this important? The words that we use are a clue to how we think, not what we think. People's words do reflect their thoughts and for them their thoughts represent a reality. We refer to this as the preferred representational system. This system is automatic; we use it for everything.

For example, you are explaining how to use a spacer device and the parent comments: 'I can't see how that works, can you explain that again?' The parent may have formed an image or an internal picture in which they are having difficulties using the product with their child. The word 'see' indicates that this person is accessing their visual system. You need to consider that they learn better by seeing, by visual demonstration and you can use more visual phrases such as 'I see', 'If you look at this', 'You can visualise'. This type of individual learns best by seeing the big picture and not with a long list of directions. 'If you look here', 'You can see that the device simply attaches here', 'Then you can...' are all visual phrases.

If a person uses phrases such as 'It sounds like', 'I can hear what you say', 'This rings a bell' they could be said to have an auditory system. They will be interested in information; they make good listeners. They are not big picture people, so they need the depth of information. They love patient information leaflets and detailed explanations. Therefore you need to tailor a different interaction to this person. 'If I tell you that the device can be simply attached here then you can...' is an auditory phrase.

A kinaesthetic system is made up of internal and external feelings. This person tends to talk quite slowly and will use phrases such as 'I can't grasp that', 'It does not feel right', 'I can't put my finger on it'. You can see that this system is all about feelings and emotions. If you respond to a kinaesthetic person with mainly visual and/or auditory words, it will simply not make sense to them. 'Attaching the device here will make it feel much easier to use...' is a kinaesthetic phrase.

Some individuals are what we call auditory digital. They need to make sense of what is happening and use phrases such as 'It makes sense', 'I can understand that', 'I can perceive that...' They love checklists and often operate 'to do' lists. 'It makes sense that if you attach the device here, then you can...' is an auditory digital phrase.

We tend to each have a proportion of each of these systems, but one will be dominant and we will access that system on most occasions. Understanding an individual's primary system will ensure that the interaction is tailored to that person. You must use their words. When you respond with their words, you are replying with their representational system, not your own. Many pharmacists are deliberately trained to be auditory digital and we generally find that over 60 per cent of the healthcare profession will fall into this classification. This makes sense when you consider all the checks and balances surrounding the profession.

However, most individuals who visit your pharmacy are not auditory digital and if you speak to them in your language rather than theirs, the consultation or interaction will be less successful. You may recognise the 'patient nodding' scenario, when you are not entirely sure if the individual you are speaking to is taking it or board or actually listening at all. There is no such thing as a resistant 'patient', just a poor communicator. Imagine how much easier it would be to explain the purpose of a medication regime to someone when you are using their same representational system.

At some point in an interaction, the conversation will have to end. This is the point where you mismatch what the other person is doing. This helps facilitate the closure of the consultation. You must not do this too abruptly or you will appear rude.